therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
