Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
