just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
