Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
