The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
