Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
