Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
