living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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