I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
