can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
