I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
