i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
