Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
