matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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