Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
