I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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