your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
