drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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