We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
