I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
