so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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