We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
