Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
