Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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