Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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