I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
