i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
