Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
