he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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