Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
