was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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