my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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