she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
