I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
