even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
