We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
