how can u be prego again
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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