i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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