You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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