saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
