she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hippo gnu deer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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