My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
