So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
