If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
