my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
