I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
