Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize