Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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