After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
