Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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