im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
