i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What drink are we having for lunch?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
